You don’t have to wait for your relationship to fall apart to ask for help.
Maybe you’re here because…
You’re finding small disagreements are turning into bigger fights than they should.
You’re feeling anxious during fights, while your partner gets quiet and shuts down.
You’re not having sex, feel emotionally cut-off, and are starting to feel more like roommates.
You’re carrying trauma that’s showing up in your relationship.
Or maybe you had one final big argument that made you pause and think:
“Okay. We can't keep doing this.”
Couples therapy in-person in Tustin, CA and online across California.
Most fights are not (actually) about the fight.
Underneath your arguments about finances or sex or parenting or in-laws, are often feelings much more tender and unspoken:
Do you love me?
Can I trust you?
Am I enough?
Can I depend on you?
Together, we'll slow down your communication patterns to begin to understand the cycle you both get caught in.
My approach to couples therapy
I use a theory called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)This is an evidenced-based treatment method for helping couples improve their relationships with decades of research behind it.
70% of couples were symptom-free after Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy treatment, with benefits still holding up two years later. (Spengler et al., 2024, published in the APA journal Couple and Family Psychology)
In our work together, you will learn how to:
See the negative cycle you're stuck in and explore what's really happening underneath.
Learn how to clearly communicate your emotions and needs
Understand how your attachment styles shape your relationship cycle
Practice coping skills for managing big emotions and triggers
Repair after conflict so that arguments bring you closer not farther
TL;DR: I will help you learn how to find your mushy, vulnerable feelings and say them out loud to each other. Let’s Talk
How couples therapy works
1. We start together
Our first session is with both of you. We’ll discuss what is bringing you into couples counseling and get clear on what changes you hope will happen through counseling. This helps me begin to get a sense of your relationship and assess if I’m the right match to achieve your goals.
2. I meet with each of you individually
After our first session, I'll meet with each of you 1:1. These individual sessions help me learn more about each of your backgrounds, trauma history, and significant experiences that shape the way you show up with your partner. It also gives each of you space to share things that may be difficult to say in front of the other person.
3. We get to work
After I’ve assessed if I’m able to support your goals, we come back together and get to work. I begin by analyzing your conflict cycle. Then we begin to utilize new coping and communication strategies to start experiencing the changes in each session.
During each session, I will slow things down when needed and help you have the conversations you've been trying (and unsuccessfully) having on your own. Insight is great, but change happens when you start practicing interacting differently with each other, which is why I will encourage different interventions in the room.
What you’ll get if we work together
Honest reflection I ask hard questions, name the patterns you're too close to see, and help you talk about things you may have never said aloud.
Learning how to turn feelings into words Most couples don't struggle with talking, they struggle with feelings. Underneath every argument are hurt feelings and unmet needs, covered by years of protective habits. My job is to help you learn how to notice your defenses and express your feelings effectively.
A new mantra: The cycle is the problem You and your partner are not the problem, the negative cycle you’re stuck in is the problem. We aren’t looking for who to blame, we’re looking to create new, healthier ways of relating.
An experienced guide I bring a master's degree in counseling psychology and hands-on experience supporting couples like you.
Inclusive, affirming, trauma-informed care I work with couples from a wide range of backgrounds, identities, and relationship structures. My practice is LGBTQ+ affirming and culturally responsive. My goal is simple: to help you build a relationship you genuinely enjoy being in.
Let’s do this thing.
If you’re ready to understand the unique patterns keeping you stuck in your relationship, improve your communication, and become calm even in stressful moments, you’re in the right place.
